Inbox [cerealia]

[cardboard_journalism]

"Sss, sss, sss.

You've reached the desk of Myriam Scuttlebutt.

If you're calling to submit a story to the Cerealia Times, please press 1.

If you're calling to inquire about employment with the Cerealia Times, please press 2.

If you're calling to make a complaint about a story in the Cerealia Times, you are free to hang up. Complaints will only be accepted as submitted letters to the editor, delivered in physical form.

If you're calling for any other reason, please leave a message after the beep."

[boop]

[if 1 is pressed]

"You've reached the extension for submitting a story to the Cerealia Times. Please describe your story after the beep. For reference, please include your name and contact information. You may also make your tip anonymously, or ask for anonymity. As a source, your anonymity is protected by law, and will not be revealed without your express permission.

Kahk-kahk... Keep in mind, you cannot be financially compensated for information you provide, for reason of journalistic ethics. ...no, really, journalists aren't supposed to do that."

[boop]

[if 2 is pressed]

"The Cerealia Times is in need of correspondents, reporters, photojournalists, and delivery personnel.

Correspondent: you are expected to respond to stories that break out in an assigned section of Cerealia, report the information at the scene, interview witnesses, and supply written stories. Mild literacy is required.

Reporters: you are expected to actively pursue assigned stories and conduct related interviews in a timely manner. Mild interpersonal skills a plus, but not essential. With approval, you will be free to investigate your own stories.

Photojournalists: you are expected to record newsworthy events on film. This may require taking shots under suboptimal conditions.

Delivery personnel: you are expected to transport, unload, and fold bundles of newspaper around Cerealia.

All of these jobs take long hours and are very demanding... but they're worth it. --Except for the delivery job, that's just busywork. Sss, sss!

Leave your contact information, desired post, and brief description of your experience, if any!"

[boop]

[action thread continuations can go here too!]

Comments

[2]

[journaler]

[Leia doesn't know how to feel about this. On the one hand, she should be excited; this is an opportunity to do what she really wants to do. On the other... didn't she miss out on a major opportunity? To be her own boss, to run things her own way.

Maybe that's not what she wanted anyway. Maybe it's not really too late.

She isn't exactly prepared when the beep comes, but she doesn't know what else she was expecting.]

Hi! Um, this is Leia Rolando... a journalist originally from Rieze Maxia. I saw your advertisement for the Cerealia Times and I'd really like to help.

I can cover almost every position until we can get more help, but in particular, I have a lot of experience with interviews and article-writing. [as well as procrastinating and staying up ridiculous hours to meet deadlines--but she'll leave that part out.]

Let's talk when you have the time. Happy holidays!

[End message.]

Re: [2]

[cardboard_journalism]

[the return call would come back almost immediately]

[ring ring ring]

[Voicemail]

[redcinemareel]

[The number is only listed as "Miss Tattler" and not from her own direct number. Anonymity is important for what she inquires about.]

Does the Cerealia Time have space for a gossip column?

[cardboard_journalism]

[the reply would come back almost immediately]

Cerealia Times! Not 'Time'! And anyway... yes! The Cerealia Times has space for anything!

[though... had she called the tip extension, or the seeking positions extension, or neither?]

voice message;

[shikisha]

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THE IDEA THAT MATOI AND I ARE A POSSIBLE COUPLE?!

[ Yeah, starting right off with yelling, obviously blaming Myriam for writing the gossip column. It's not like she thinks there's someone else out there trying to ruin her life after she just got here. ]

[cardboard_journalism]

[she recoiled from the speaker at the blast of volume]

Kaaaaahk! Slow down, what?

First things first, kahk-kahk. Who is this?

text;

[psycholawgy]

[ Some time after Myriam's delivered the newspaper to the cafe, Athena sends her a text— ]

I thought your newspaper will be telling the truth! What's this gossip column all about?!

text;

[cardboard_journalism]

[Myriam hated texts, it hurt her eyes to make it from inside her box and typing with her hands through the armholes felt awkward.

But in the comfort of the break room at her work, it wasn't impossible to remove her box and type back]

What are you talking about, Athena? The gossip column is just that, a gossip column.

text;

[dereban]

[ Normally, she would complain. But she knows these types, and complaining isn't going to help her get to the bottom of this. Other people are going to complain already, so there's no point in that. Instead... ]

Are you guys still hiring? I was wondering if you needed another reporter or journalist.

audio return call;

[cardboard_journalism]

[the return phone call would come back almost-immediately]

Hello? Did you just leave a text message? You didn't leave any contact information...

The answer is, yes! We're always looking for new journalists to add to the staff! What did you have in mind? Sss, sss, sss.

text;

[spiritpearls]

[ After reading the new paper. ]

Excuse me, but your paper has a terrible lie in it! It claims that Phoenix Wright and Mystic Maya Fey are burglars and that is the most untrue thing I've ever heard! You can't lie in a newspaper, that's against the law!

[ Or should be, anyway. ]

[cardboard_journalism]

[ooh, that was quick.

--this was too sensitive to handle by text, though.]

[she'd answer with an audio call back]

[ring ring ring (or whatever sound Pearl's phone made)]

text;

[psycholawgy]

[ Here we go again... ]

MYYYYYRRRRIIIAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

text;

[cardboard_journalism]

[SIGHS]

Yes, Athena? What is it?

[psycholawgy]

[ A few hours after Athena's angry texting, she types up a letter, gets it printed out, and has it mailed to Myriam's doorstep. (She's not sure where exactly she should be sending the letter to, since she isn't aware of any office.)

The letter reads:

To the Editor-in-Chief of of The Cerealia Times,

I am writing to you to formally show my disapproval of your gossip section. I had hoped that this newspaper would bring out the truth, but you are contradicting your own mission by adding a gossip section to each issue. Your paper is nothing more than a tabloid to me now.

I will not be correcting any of the baseless lies that you have already printed, as I'm 100% certain that you will continue printing these, anyway.

As the primary contact for the paper's distribution at one of the local cafes, I refuse to have our customers read these speculations about people. It is not worth their while. As such, we will only be providing issues of your newspaper if and when each article provides proper evidence to back up its text.

Best,
Athena Cykes ]

2

[thatched]

Hello, I was wondering whether the Cerealia Times would like to have a love advice columnist. Please contact me here if you're interested and we can discuss rates.

I know that there is no payment for journalism due to ethics reasons, but in the game of love? What do ethics matter?

[fairbrook]

[Because this totally isn't an axe murderess on the other end, plotting Myriam's demise. Shhhh...]

Miss Scuttlebutt,

I am writing to thank you on behalf of the police department for your electric correspondence, relayed to me by one Mr. Miles Edgeworth.

I believe this to be a matter of the utmost urgency, and shall agree to meet with you at your earliest convenience. It is important that we, as law enforcement officials, are proactive when it comes to the prevention of crime and spreading knowledge of potential suspects.

We value and appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

- Sir Integra Hellsing

audio

[cardboard_journalism]

[the callback would come immediately]

Is this... Miss Hellsing? Myriam Scuttlebutt here! [Her tone was her usual excited one]

I'm available right now, as a matter of fact! Is that good for you, too...?

Name a location, any location! I'll come to you. Sss, sss, sss!

[1]

[chiefdefense]

Hello Miss Scuttlebutt, I have a potential story for you.

It's about the newspaper editor who will be printing a retraction for the defamatory story she published regarding the actions of Mr Phoenix Wright and Miss Maya Fey.

Of course, if that doesn't appeal to you I'm sure you'd be interested in the story about the libel suit the same newspaper editor will be facing if she doesn't print the retraction.

I'll leave it up to your journalistic integrity to decide which option you'll be pursuing.

Thank you for your time.

audio;

[cardboard_journalism]

[Ooh... someone with real fire in their tone. She checked the Ceres-device thing. "Mia Fey"? Oh dear. Seems this was maybe the Mama Goose? Or at least the mightiest of the three Feys she knew of so far.]

[Nevertheless, this was no time to show fear. Courage, Scuttlebutt!]

[the call back to Mia would occur right away.]

Hello? Is this Miss Mia Fey? Myriam Scuttlebutt, editor of The Cerealia Times getting back to you. How are you?

For future reference, Miss Fey, requests for corrections neither qualify as "1" or "2" on the phone tree, but you can just leave it as a normal message. Sss, sss, sss.

[It didn't matter, of course, she checked all of them equally. That is, every two minutes.]

You were saying something about a story involving Mr. Wright and Miss Maya Fey? I presume you're referring to their mention in the gossip column...?

action-ish; 1/11

[spiritpearls]

[ Delivered to Myriam in person at the school supply store by Pearl, is the following letter: ]

Dear Editor of the Cerealia Times & it's readers,

My name is Pearl Fey, and I'd like to apologize for my actions with the past newspaper. I edited as many as I could find with a pen, which was an overreaction and rather rude. I'm sorry if anyone read these altered papers, they were not as Miss Scuttlebutt and the rest of the Cerealia Times' people intended. And to Miss Scuttlebutt and Miss Tattler for these unsanctioned alterations, I meant no harm and I apologize if I caused any.

And to the readers, I urge anyone else who takes issue with the Cerealia Times to contact Miss Scuttlebutt directly, instead of doing what I did. Which was take it upon myself to "fix" the paper and not contact her until afterward with an angry text. Be sure to send her an angry text instead of vandalizing the paper!

Sincerely,
Pearl Fey

action-ish; 1/11

[cardboard_journalism]

[Scuttlebutt's hands shook with glee as she read the letter. Perfect, absolutely perfect!]

Very good! This'll do nicely. Sss, sss, sss, sss, sss!

You can see the formal reply in the next edition, but I'll tell you informally right now your apology is accepted!

text;

[shikisha]

[ Some days after the concert... ]

Hey. Do you even know how to swim?

text;

[cardboard_journalism]

[Was this another trick!? It was pretty soon after she'd been threatened with a law suit and she was feeling paranoid. Was there a No Swimming Journalists case she had missed somewhere?]

Why?

2

[ineptus]

Hi! My name is Mabel Pines, and I wanted to know if you needed any columns written! I have both of your issues and I'm a real fan!

I work for the school newspaper every year, so I've got plenty of experience! Columnist and editor here! I've written sort of "Dear Libbey" type love columns before, and I've done a lot of work in matchmaking so I know my stuff when it comes to romance! Do you have room for something like that? If not, maybe there's something else I can help with! Get back to me, okay?

audio;

[cardboard_journalism]

[the call would come back immediately]

Hello? Miss Pines? Myriam Scuttlebutt here, editor of The Cerealia Times!

Your timing is perfect, actually! I recently received an offer from another person to write a love advice column, but... they've since gone mysteriously missing. Without a trace! Not sure what happened. But, what can you do, the newspaper can't wait. Kahk-kahk-kahk.

So anyway, I have a list of sample questions for you! I'd like you to write your responses, and if they seem printable, you're hired. I pay my employees on a freelance basis, which means per article. How does two credits per column sound to you? Or I can pay you in ice cream sundaes or a juice or something. Sss, sss, sss.

text;

[psycholawgy]

[ It's a pretty sudden text, and Athena not even texting with a sweet opening makes it seem really serious. ]

Go to the medical facility, room 609. Just tell the person at the lobby that you have an appointment with Athena Cykes.

action;

[cardboard_journalism]

[...this seemed serious. Very serious.

She wondered if she should pretend she didn't see it...

But how could she ignore a text from Athena?]

...

[she'd head out... without her box.]

[but she would wear wear a large black scarf over her face, along with winter clothing]

[eventually she'd make it to the office, quietly sneaking in normally... like a normal person, even]

Hello...?

voice;

[feytality]

--oah! Which of these buttons do I press for---

[The sound of multiple numbers getting hit!]

Is this it? Hey, I think I got it! Hey, hey, I've got to talk to you about an article! I'm Maya--

[Another button, and she accidentally ends the call]

[WELL DONE]

voice;

[cardboard_journalism]

[OH NO, what had happened?? Had the girl been ambushed when trying to leave a hot tip? Was this CERES finally trying to silence a valid source?! Only one way to find out! She'd call back immediately!]

Hello? This is Myriam Scuttlebutt, editor of The Cerealia Times! Are you all right? It sounded like you got cut off suddenly! Hello?? Hello???

voice;

[dishonorstudent]

Told ya there's some shady shit goin' on at CERES.

Seen the murdershow broadcast?

voice;

[cardboard_journalism]

Is this Ryuko? Kaaaahk. How could I miss it? Yes, I saw it. Even got to ask the new CEO some questions. Sss, sss, sss.

Text - IC: 1/17

[complices]

[ Shortly after this, Myriam will find one text message in her inbox. ]

This is Mosley.

It seems as if you like to go on, don't you? I would advise a more succinct voicemail message. "Myriam Scuttlebutt. Submitting a story? Press 1. Employment? Press 2. Anything else? Wait for the beep." Was that truly so hard? And then your other messages, even worse, Also, what is that noise you keep making? You might want to check that out.

Nevertheless, Ms Recreare has informed me you are inquiring after CERES's Public Relations Manager. That is me.

Text - IC: 1/17

[cardboard_journalism]

Thank you for your advice. We will take that into consideration. Please note the Cerealia Times, and me, Myriam Scuttlebutt, are attempting to "build our brand" and frequently receive unsolicited calls. Hence, the need for a more "in-depth" message system.

[Sss, sss, sss!]

That's right! Do you have any official statement to make on behalf of Ms. Recreare or the CERES' corporation at this time? We anticipate an Extra edition will be published shortly.

Perhaps you would like to provide information for a proper obituary for the previous CEO?

[1] voice;

[good_ideas]

Hello?

I'd like to report a story about an old perv-...I mean-...old man named Hyoubu Kyousuke who has been wearing the same set of clothing for years and doesn't seem to have done any laundry.

Is this where we report him? I was going to go talk to the police since he's a public nuisance but I thought you might find it interesting.

Re: [1] voice;

[cardboard_journalism]

Well, I... suppose I could pass that along to our gossip columnist. Kahk-kahk-kahk. It doesn't sound exactly newsworthy...

Is he a public nuisance? What else has he been doing? Is it just... a smell, I assume? Kaaaaahk.

Also, who are you? If you want to remain anonymous, that's okay, but being able to get back to you would really help me pursue this story!

[1] voice; 1/17

[capforthat]

[Bulma has never been the most patient person when she's made up her mind to do something, so rather than listen to the whole message she simply jabs 1.]

Yes, hello. My name is Bulma Briefs and I'd like to talk to you about today's article on the... [paper rustling] ..."Saiyan Menace".

[Those quotes? Totally audible.]

I've got some insider information you'll want to hear.

Re: [1] voice; 1/17

[cardboard_journalism]

[the call back would come immediately]

Hello Miss... Briefs! This is Myriam Scuttlebutt, editor of The Cerealia Times. How are you? Sss, sss, sss.

Just getting back to you about this "insider information" you have! What is it? Could you describe how you're related to to this story?

voicemail;

[psycholawgy]

[ backdated to the night of phase ii. ]

It's Athena. Call me when you're able, alright?

Thanks.

[audio]

[cardboard_journalism]

[She'd call back, all right]

Aaatheeeeenaaaaaa...!

voice;

[sandstorm]

[ Myriam will get a message from a rough sounding Southern man. ]

How does one go leavin' an advertisement in your local paper here? I assume that this here is the editor.

voice;

[cardboard_journalism]

[the call would come back immediately!]

Hello? You didn't leave a name, sir, but this is Myriam Scuttlebutt, editor of The Cerealia Times getting back to you!

In regards to your query... I'm afraid I need a few more details. What exactly do you hope to advertise with us? Your local business? Services? Personals ad? Sss, sss, sss!

Text [Very Locked!]

[redcinemareel]

[Because Miss Tattler doesn't do voice messages anymore shhhh.]

Greetings! I seemed to have disappeared on you! So sorry about that! I have returned, with a slow start, it seems! I will have something to hand in for the next issue! Nothing too big nor small! So please look out for it!

-Miss Tattler|

Text [Very Locked!]

[cardboard_journalism]

Miss Tattler, good to hear from you. I had taken you for vanished. Welcome back.

I look forward to your continued work.

Perhaps you would be interested in reading what has happened while you were gone?

[text]

[yourotherleft]

[he's not even mad about the article. It's weird, but eh, whatever.]

didn't need an interview after all, or what? and just when i found a bar I like.

[text]

[cardboard_journalism]

Sure I will. I just figured since you consented to an additional interview, what you told me to begin with was also fair game.

What bar and when?

letter, after valentines day

[creepface]

[ There is an anonymous letter addressed to the person giving relationship advice. ]

I have started to like my superior in indecent ways, but I can't get it to stop. I tried to go out with someone else and I really wanted to like them but I don't know how to get rid of these feelings. What do I do? I'm not used to this and you shouldn't like your superior, right?