Inbox [cerealia]
Apr. 30th, 2015 02:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cardboard_journalism"Sss, sss, sss.
You've reached the desk of Myriam Scuttlebutt.
If you're calling to submit a story to the Cerealia Times, please press 1.
If you're calling to inquire about employment with the Cerealia Times, please press 2.
If you're calling to make a complaint about a story in the Cerealia Times, you are free to hang up. Complaints will only be accepted as submitted letters to the editor, delivered in physical form.
If you're calling for any other reason, please leave a message after the beep."
[boop]
[if 1 is pressed]
"You've reached the extension for submitting a story to the Cerealia Times. Please describe your story after the beep. For reference, please include your name and contact information. You may also make your tip anonymously, or ask for anonymity. As a source, your anonymity is protected by law, and will not be revealed without your express permission.
Kahk-kahk... Keep in mind, you cannot be financially compensated for information you provide, for reason of journalistic ethics. ...no, really, journalists aren't supposed to do that."
[boop]
[if 2 is pressed]
"The Cerealia Times is in need of correspondents, reporters, photojournalists, and delivery personnel.
Correspondent: you are expected to respond to stories that break out in an assigned section of Cerealia, report the information at the scene, interview witnesses, and supply written stories. Mild literacy is required.
Reporters: you are expected to actively pursue assigned stories and conduct related interviews in a timely manner. Mild interpersonal skills a plus, but not essential. With approval, you will be free to investigate your own stories.
Photojournalists: you are expected to record newsworthy events on film. This may require taking shots under suboptimal conditions.
Delivery personnel: you are expected to transport, unload, and fold bundles of newspaper around Cerealia.
All of these jobs take long hours and are very demanding... but they're worth it. --Except for the delivery job, that's just busywork. Sss, sss!
Leave your contact information, desired post, and brief description of your experience, if any!"
[boop]
[action thread continuations can go here too!]
You've reached the desk of Myriam Scuttlebutt.
If you're calling to submit a story to the Cerealia Times, please press 1.
If you're calling to inquire about employment with the Cerealia Times, please press 2.
If you're calling to make a complaint about a story in the Cerealia Times, you are free to hang up. Complaints will only be accepted as submitted letters to the editor, delivered in physical form.
If you're calling for any other reason, please leave a message after the beep."
[boop]
[if 1 is pressed]
"You've reached the extension for submitting a story to the Cerealia Times. Please describe your story after the beep. For reference, please include your name and contact information. You may also make your tip anonymously, or ask for anonymity. As a source, your anonymity is protected by law, and will not be revealed without your express permission.
Kahk-kahk... Keep in mind, you cannot be financially compensated for information you provide, for reason of journalistic ethics. ...no, really, journalists aren't supposed to do that."
[boop]
[if 2 is pressed]
"The Cerealia Times is in need of correspondents, reporters, photojournalists, and delivery personnel.
Correspondent: you are expected to respond to stories that break out in an assigned section of Cerealia, report the information at the scene, interview witnesses, and supply written stories. Mild literacy is required.
Reporters: you are expected to actively pursue assigned stories and conduct related interviews in a timely manner. Mild interpersonal skills a plus, but not essential. With approval, you will be free to investigate your own stories.
Photojournalists: you are expected to record newsworthy events on film. This may require taking shots under suboptimal conditions.
Delivery personnel: you are expected to transport, unload, and fold bundles of newspaper around Cerealia.
All of these jobs take long hours and are very demanding... but they're worth it. --Except for the delivery job, that's just busywork. Sss, sss!
Leave your contact information, desired post, and brief description of your experience, if any!"
[boop]
[action thread continuations can go here too!]
audio;
Date: 2015-06-02 10:48 pm (UTC)Hello? Miss Pines? Myriam Scuttlebutt here, editor of The Cerealia Times!
Your timing is perfect, actually! I recently received an offer from another person to write a love advice column, but... they've since gone mysteriously missing. Without a trace! Not sure what happened. But, what can you do, the newspaper can't wait. Kahk-kahk-kahk.
So anyway, I have a list of sample questions for you! I'd like you to write your responses, and if they seem printable, you're hired. I pay my employees on a freelance basis, which means per article. How does two credits per column sound to you? Or I can pay you in ice cream sundaes or a juice or something. Sss, sss, sss.
audio;
Date: 2015-06-02 11:04 pm (UTC)[Wait Mabel getting ahead of yourself.]
Oops I mean- I'm sorry to hear about your mysterious disappearance of the former column writer. Are you going to make a story about that? It'd be like...storyception!
But lay those questions on me! I'll have those answered in no time! Before you can say "two twonicorns tip-toed to the Tiny Tadpole Tearoom" three times fast!
...well, maybe not that fast. But I'll be as quick and thorough as I can! The newspaper won't wait on this writer!
audio;
Date: 2015-06-02 11:39 pm (UTC)All right, here they go: you ready?
Number one: "What is love? Please don't reply with the song." No idea what song he's talking about.
Number two: "Why?" Blunt, but whatever, maybe you can be creative.
Number three: "How can you tell if a girl likes you more than a friend?" Seems a pretty standard question.
Number four: "What do you do if you like someone you're not supposed to like?" Lot of potential here, isn't there? Sss, sss, sss!
Number five: "How can you tell if someone could be interested in a date? How do you let someone know you would be available as something more than a friend? What is a good way to ask someone on a date? What are good locations for dates in this city?" Kahk-kahk... They went a little overboard, there.
Number six: "Why are humans so strange when it comes to loving? And also should humans marry Saiyan war mongering royalty?" ...No idea. Your guess is as good as mine.
Number seven: "My dear friend is in need of help, how does one confess to another who, while likes them, appears to be a little oblivious? I am not pretending that the friend is myself, this is truly for another." Suspiciously specific in their denial there, but y'know, might be legit.
Choose as many of these you think will make a good column and answer them. Feel free to give made-up names for the person asking. "Horribly Heartbroken Harry," or "Lonely Lovely Larry," or whatever.
I print the paper January 17th! It'll be put to bed at 11:59 pm the previous day. I don't accept any submissions after that. Think you can make that deadline? Sss, sss.
audio;
Date: 2015-06-02 11:51 pm (UTC)Wow what good questions...alright you got it! January 17th, no problem!
[She's about to hang up to go work on that, but adds as an afterthought:]
Oh, should I mail these as a letter to you? Bring them to you in person? How would you like these submitted?
[Asking the important questions.]
Also I just want to say I respect your respect for anonymity.
Re: audio;
Date: 2015-06-02 11:58 pm (UTC)Oh, anyway is fine, as long I get it! Text, in-person, whichever. If you need to find me, I work behind a register most days over at the school supply store. I'll be the most inconspicuous one!
audio;
Date: 2015-06-03 12:11 am (UTC)And alright, that makes it easy. Expect to hear from me soon then!
Re: audio;
Date: 2015-06-03 12:21 am (UTC)You having any problems or need anything, just call me! The Cerealia Times looks after its own.
Welcome aboard, Mabel!