cardboard_journalism | Inbox [cerealia]

Inbox [cerealia]

"Sss, sss, sss.

You've reached the desk of Myriam Scuttlebutt.

If you're calling to submit a story to the Cerealia Times, please press 1.

If you're calling to inquire about employment with the Cerealia Times, please press 2.

If you're calling to make a complaint about a story in the Cerealia Times, you are free to hang up. Complaints will only be accepted as submitted letters to the editor, delivered in physical form.

If you're calling for any other reason, please leave a message after the beep."

[boop]

[if 1 is pressed]

"You've reached the extension for submitting a story to the Cerealia Times. Please describe your story after the beep. For reference, please include your name and contact information. You may also make your tip anonymously, or ask for anonymity. As a source, your anonymity is protected by law, and will not be revealed without your express permission.

Kahk-kahk... Keep in mind, you cannot be financially compensated for information you provide, for reason of journalistic ethics. ...no, really, journalists aren't supposed to do that."

[boop]

[if 2 is pressed]

"The Cerealia Times is in need of correspondents, reporters, photojournalists, and delivery personnel.

Correspondent: you are expected to respond to stories that break out in an assigned section of Cerealia, report the information at the scene, interview witnesses, and supply written stories. Mild literacy is required.

Reporters: you are expected to actively pursue assigned stories and conduct related interviews in a timely manner. Mild interpersonal skills a plus, but not essential. With approval, you will be free to investigate your own stories.

Photojournalists: you are expected to record newsworthy events on film. This may require taking shots under suboptimal conditions.

Delivery personnel: you are expected to transport, unload, and fold bundles of newspaper around Cerealia.

All of these jobs take long hours and are very demanding... but they're worth it. --Except for the delivery job, that's just busywork. Sss, sss!

Leave your contact information, desired post, and brief description of your experience, if any!"

[boop]

[action thread continuations can go here too!]

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[Leia doesn't know how to feel about this. On the one hand, she should be excited; this is an opportunity to do what she really wants to do. On the other... didn't she miss out on a major opportunity? To be her own boss, to run things her own way.

Maybe that's not what she wanted anyway. Maybe it's not really too late.

She isn't exactly prepared when the beep comes, but she doesn't know what else she was expecting.]

Hi! Um, this is Leia Rolando... a journalist originally from Rieze Maxia. I saw your advertisement for the Cerealia Times and I'd really like to help.

I can cover almost every position until we can get more help, but in particular, I have a lot of experience with interviews and article-writing. [as well as procrastinating and staying up ridiculous hours to meet deadlines--but she'll leave that part out.]

Let's talk when you have the time. Happy holidays!

[End message.]

[The number is only listed as "Miss Tattler" and not from her own direct number. Anonymity is important for what she inquires about.]

Does the Cerealia Time have space for a gossip column?

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THE IDEA THAT MATOI AND I ARE A POSSIBLE COUPLE?!

[ Yeah, starting right off with yelling, obviously blaming Myriam for writing the gossip column. It's not like she thinks there's someone else out there trying to ruin her life after she just got here. ]

[ Some time after Myriam's delivered the newspaper to the cafe, Athena sends her a text— ]

I thought your newspaper will be telling the truth! What's this gossip column all about?!

[ Normally, she would complain. But she knows these types, and complaining isn't going to help her get to the bottom of this. Other people are going to complain already, so there's no point in that. Instead... ]

Are you guys still hiring? I was wondering if you needed another reporter or journalist.

[ After reading the new paper. ]

Excuse me, but your paper has a terrible lie in it! It claims that Phoenix Wright and Mystic Maya Fey are burglars and that is the most untrue thing I've ever heard! You can't lie in a newspaper, that's against the law!

[ Or should be, anyway. ]

[ Here we go again... ]

MYYYYYRRRRIIIAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ A few hours after Athena's angry texting, she types up a letter, gets it printed out, and has it mailed to Myriam's doorstep. (She's not sure where exactly she should be sending the letter to, since she isn't aware of any office.)

The letter reads:

To the Editor-in-Chief of of The Cerealia Times,

I am writing to you to formally show my disapproval of your gossip section. I had hoped that this newspaper would bring out the truth, but you are contradicting your own mission by adding a gossip section to each issue. Your paper is nothing more than a tabloid to me now.

I will not be correcting any of the baseless lies that you have already printed, as I'm 100% certain that you will continue printing these, anyway.

As the primary contact for the paper's distribution at one of the local cafes, I refuse to have our customers read these speculations about people. It is not worth their while. As such, we will only be providing issues of your newspaper if and when each article provides proper evidence to back up its text.

Best,
Athena Cykes ]

Hello, I was wondering whether the Cerealia Times would like to have a love advice columnist. Please contact me here if you're interested and we can discuss rates.

I know that there is no payment for journalism due to ethics reasons, but in the game of love? What do ethics matter?

[Because this totally isn't an axe murderess on the other end, plotting Myriam's demise. Shhhh...]

Miss Scuttlebutt, I am writing to thank you on behalf of the police department for your electric correspondence, relayed to me by one Mr. Miles Edgeworth. I believe this to be a matter of the utmost urgency, and shall agree to meet with you at your earliest convenience. It is important that we, as law enforcement officials, are proactive when it comes to the prevention of crime and spreading knowledge of potential suspects. We value and appreciate your cooperation in this matter. - Sir Integra Hellsing

Hello Miss Scuttlebutt, I have a potential story for you.

It's about the newspaper editor who will be printing a retraction for the defamatory story she published regarding the actions of Mr Phoenix Wright and Miss Maya Fey.

Of course, if that doesn't appeal to you I'm sure you'd be interested in the story about the libel suit the same newspaper editor will be facing if she doesn't print the retraction.

I'll leave it up to your journalistic integrity to decide which option you'll be pursuing.

Thank you for your time.

[ Delivered to Myriam in person at the school supply store by Pearl, is the following letter: ]

Dear Editor of the Cerealia Times & it's readers,

My name is Pearl Fey, and I'd like to apologize for my actions with the past newspaper. I edited as many as I could find with a pen, which was an overreaction and rather rude. I'm sorry if anyone read these altered papers, they were not as Miss Scuttlebutt and the rest of the Cerealia Times' people intended. And to Miss Scuttlebutt and Miss Tattler for these unsanctioned alterations, I meant no harm and I apologize if I caused any.

And to the readers, I urge anyone else who takes issue with the Cerealia Times to contact Miss Scuttlebutt directly, instead of doing what I did. Which was take it upon myself to "fix" the paper and not contact her until afterward with an angry text. Be sure to send her an angry text instead of vandalizing the paper!

Sincerely,
Pearl Fey

[ Some days after the concert... ]

Hey. Do you even know how to swim?

Hi! My name is Mabel Pines, and I wanted to know if you needed any columns written! I have both of your issues and I'm a real fan!

I work for the school newspaper every year, so I've got plenty of experience! Columnist and editor here! I've written sort of "Dear Libbey" type love columns before, and I've done a lot of work in matchmaking so I know my stuff when it comes to romance! Do you have room for something like that? If not, maybe there's something else I can help with! Get back to me, okay?

[ It's a pretty sudden text, and Athena not even texting with a sweet opening makes it seem really serious. ]

Go to the medical facility, room 609. Just tell the person at the lobby that you have an appointment with Athena Cykes.

--oah! Which of these buttons do I press for---

[The sound of multiple numbers getting hit!]

Is this it? Hey, I think I got it! Hey, hey, I've got to talk to you about an article! I'm Maya--

[Another button, and she accidentally ends the call]

[WELL DONE]

Told ya there's some shady shit goin' on at CERES.

Seen the murdershow broadcast?

[ Shortly after this, Myriam will find one text message in her inbox. ]

This is Mosley.

It seems as if you like to go on, don't you? I would advise a more succinct voicemail message. "Myriam Scuttlebutt. Submitting a story? Press 1. Employment? Press 2. Anything else? Wait for the beep." Was that truly so hard? And then your other messages, even worse, Also, what is that noise you keep making? You might want to check that out.

Nevertheless, Ms Recreare has informed me you are inquiring after CERES's Public Relations Manager. That is me.

Hello?

I'd like to report a story about an old perv-...I mean-...old man named Hyoubu Kyousuke who has been wearing the same set of clothing for years and doesn't seem to have done any laundry.

Is this where we report him? I was going to go talk to the police since he's a public nuisance but I thought you might find it interesting.

[Bulma has never been the most patient person when she's made up her mind to do something, so rather than listen to the whole message she simply jabs 1.]

Yes, hello. My name is Bulma Briefs and I'd like to talk to you about today's article on the... [paper rustling] ..."Saiyan Menace".

[Those quotes? Totally audible.]

I've got some insider information you'll want to hear.

[ backdated to the night of phase ii. ]

It's Athena. Call me when you're able, alright?

Thanks.

[ Myriam will get a message from a rough sounding Southern man. ]

How does one go leavin' an advertisement in your local paper here? I assume that this here is the editor.

[Because Miss Tattler doesn't do voice messages ~~anymore shhhh~~.]

Greetings! I seemed to have disappeared on you! So sorry about that! I have returned, with a slow start, it seems! I will have something to hand in for the next issue! Nothing too big nor small! So please look out for it!

-Miss Tattler|

[he's not even mad about the article. It's weird, but eh, whatever.]

didn't need an interview after all, or what? and just when i found a bar I like.

[ There is an anonymous letter addressed to the person giving relationship advice. ]

I have started to like my superior in indecent ways, but I can't get it to stop. I tried to go out with someone else and I really wanted to like them but I don't know how to get rid of these feelings. What do I do? I'm not used to this and you shouldn't like your superior, right?

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