cardboard_journalism: (Default)
Myriam Scuttlebutt ([personal profile] cardboard_journalism) wrote2015-04-30 02:27 pm

Inbox [cerealia]

"Sss, sss, sss.

You've reached the desk of Myriam Scuttlebutt.

If you're calling to submit a story to the Cerealia Times, please press 1.

If you're calling to inquire about employment with the Cerealia Times, please press 2.

If you're calling to make a complaint about a story in the Cerealia Times, you are free to hang up. Complaints will only be accepted as submitted letters to the editor, delivered in physical form.

If you're calling for any other reason, please leave a message after the beep."

[boop]

[if 1 is pressed]

"You've reached the extension for submitting a story to the Cerealia Times. Please describe your story after the beep. For reference, please include your name and contact information. You may also make your tip anonymously, or ask for anonymity. As a source, your anonymity is protected by law, and will not be revealed without your express permission.

Kahk-kahk... Keep in mind, you cannot be financially compensated for information you provide, for reason of journalistic ethics. ...no, really, journalists aren't supposed to do that."

[boop]

[if 2 is pressed]

"The Cerealia Times is in need of correspondents, reporters, photojournalists, and delivery personnel.

Correspondent: you are expected to respond to stories that break out in an assigned section of Cerealia, report the information at the scene, interview witnesses, and supply written stories. Mild literacy is required.

Reporters: you are expected to actively pursue assigned stories and conduct related interviews in a timely manner. Mild interpersonal skills a plus, but not essential. With approval, you will be free to investigate your own stories.

Photojournalists: you are expected to record newsworthy events on film. This may require taking shots under suboptimal conditions.

Delivery personnel: you are expected to transport, unload, and fold bundles of newspaper around Cerealia.

All of these jobs take long hours and are very demanding... but they're worth it. --Except for the delivery job, that's just busywork. Sss, sss!

Leave your contact information, desired post, and brief description of your experience, if any!"

[boop]

[action thread continuations can go here too!]
fairbrook: narben of lj; (♞ Before I make it up for you;)

[personal profile] fairbrook 2015-05-30 09:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Because this totally isn't an axe murderess on the other end, plotting Myriam's demise. Shhhh...]

Miss Scuttlebutt,

I am writing to thank you on behalf of the police department for your electric correspondence, relayed to me by one Mr. Miles Edgeworth.

I believe this to be a matter of the utmost urgency, and shall agree to meet with you at your earliest convenience. It is important that we, as law enforcement officials, are proactive when it comes to the prevention of crime and spreading knowledge of potential suspects.

We value and appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

- Sir Integra Hellsing