Thank you for getting back to me so promptly Miss Scuttlebutt. I appreciate your professionalism in this matter.

[You are correct, Scuttlebutt, this is Mama Goose and she is displeased.]

You presume correctly, I'm contacting you about the defamatory remarks you published in your gossip column about Mr Wright and Miss Fey and I suggest you consider printing a retraction in your next issue. I could of course put this request in writing, but I'm sure you understand that if it gets to that stage then it will be the first step of my taking the appropriate legal action.