The basic facts are that she has a thing for me, which is definitely not a basic fact at all and is more like a complete and utter fabrication!!

[ She wants to believe that anyway. ]

...I feel like you're just trying to convince me to talk about her to use it against me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that.

[ Nope, not gonna talking about her, no way!! ]

You're adding way too many complicated layers to this! Who the hell wants to go through all those hoops?!